The Heroine Series 3:The Sacred Ashes
by Artzielady94
Summary: After retrieving the ashes of Andraste to heal the Arl of Redcliff, Aleria and her companions stay the night in Haven. Alistair asks Leliana's advice, Aleria dreams of the demons in her past, and Zevran reveals some demons of his own. Rated T. AlistairxfCouslandxZevran…..


**Hello all! I've decided to make these a short story series! This is the third installment! The first is "In Desperate Need" followed by "After RedCliff" I would like to continue all the way through awakenings and beyond, with my own twists and turns of course! Thank you for reading! Reviews are welcomed and encouraged! Again major love and hugs to my Beta **Dalia-inuyasha! Enjoy!

The weather was positively frigid as they took the weary group took their leave of the ruins which housed the Urn of Andraste's ashes. No one uttered a sound as they marched onward to the village of Haven; the Gauntlet had taken its toll on each of them in different ways, leaving each buried deep within their own thoughts.

Leliana noted their leader's quiet demeanor. In situations like this, she would normally break the tension with a quip or random observation. In this moment, however, she kept silent, likely out of awe and reverence for what they had just witnessed and for what she was holding in her hand. She mused over what Aleria had said to her.

"_Here Lil," she gently placed the leather pouch in her hand. "I think it's fitting that the only one among us who is a Sister should have the honor of carrying this." Leliana gasped, _

"_Oh, but I couldn't…I am not worthy…I..." Aleria shushed her._

"_I cannot think of anyone more worthy than a woman who would drop everything to follow the will of the Maker, even if it means fighting a horde of darkspawn and sharing a campsite with a rag tag group of oddballs like ourselves."_

_Aleria smiled, "Please Lil, I insist."_

Leliana's face lit up at the memory of Aleria's words. She would be forever grateful to Aleria for bestowing this honor on her. Leliana gazed at her heroine in admiration and her heart broke for her. Leliana knew she had to be emotionally drained from the trials of the Gauntlet; she didn't quite understand how Aleria was holding herself together, especially after seeing the spirit of her father. Leliana prayed silently to the Maker on Aleria's behalf. As she finished her prayer she heard Alistair address the group.

"I think it would be a good idea to take shelter in one of these abandoned homes tonight. The weather tends to become a bit nasty here. Plus, I think we all need a good night's rest before heading back to Redcliff. As much as I'd like to head back tonight, it would do us no good to fall ill or freeze to death in the process." He looked at Aleria and waited for her reply.

"I agree," were the only words to leave her mouth. Alistair nodded in response but his face was crinkled in concern. Morrigan huffed.

"I agree as well. Actually, 'tis the first time I have agreed to anything the Templar has said. But then again 'tis the only thing he has said that wasn't drenched in stupidity." Alistair crossed his arms over his chest.

"You know what, I take it back. Let's head on to Redcliff. With as little clothes as Morrigan wears there is a great possibility she will be a witchy little Popsicle before we reach the edge of the Frostbacks. It wouldn't be a dramatic difference, I suppose, since she's already an ice-cold B-" Leliana, the peace maker, interrupted, stepping between her two argumentative comrades.

"Oh, Look! That little abandoned cottage is adorable! It has a fire place too! Aleria, do you think this one will be alright for the night?" Leliana grabbed Aleria's hand and pleaded with her eyes. A small smile played on Aleria mouth as she gave a small nod. Leliana squealed with delight as she ran for the little run down cottage. Aleria glanced at the rest of her party members, shrugged her shoulders, and followed Leliana inside.

The cottage consisted of one large open room with a huge stone fire place to the right as you entered. Leliana had already started work on a fire as the rest of her companions filed in and began setting up their bed rolls. This would be the first time they all slept together without the privacy of their own tents. As much as Aleria wanted to be alone with her thoughts, it seemed tonight would not be the night to do so. Aleria smoothed out her bedroll while talking to the group, "Would anyone like to take first watch tonight? If not, I don't mind taking it myself."

Zevran spoke up, "I will take first watch warden; we must not have our leader losing her beauty sleep. It would be a terrible injustice to those of us who find pleasure in that lovely face of yours." He smiled cheekily and gave a flourished a bow before stepping out into the dark night. Aleria rolled her eyes.

"I will take second watch then. If you all don't mind I will be retiring now. Oh, and if Morrigan and Alistair try to kill each other, please make sure they are at least quiet about it." She shot a look at Alistair who wrinkled his nose in response, then proceeded to wrap herself in a blanket and drift off to sleep.

Alistar's gaze never left Aleria as he watched her nestle into her blanket. He never noticed how fragile she looked. As her long eyelashes fluttered on her cheeks he thought she looked more like a porcelain doll rather than the blood spattered warrior he had come to know. He wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers over that soft cheek or to entangle his fingers in that silky hair. The feeling that someone was watching him interrupted his though process. When the warden turned around he saw Leliana grinning at him like a cat that had just swallowed a canary. "Why are you smiling at me like that?" He whispered. Leliana tilted her head to the side then nodded towards Aleria and smirked again. Alistair shook his head and made his way over to Leliana. "It wasn't what you think it looked like."

"And what do you think I thought it looked like?" She replied with a smirk.

"What?" Alistair looked at her confused. Leliana giggled quietly.

"It's alright Alistair, your secret is safe with me." She patted his arm, fixing her gaze on her recently built fire.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Alistair whispered, "Lil, can I ask you a question?" His eyes fixated on the fire as well. Leliana chuckled.

"I believe you just asked me a question, Alistair, but if you want to ask me another you may." She smirked. Alistair fidgeted nervously with the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders.

"Well, so you're female, right?" He asked timidly. Leliana's eyebrows shot up as her mouth fell agape.

"I am? Well that's new. When did that happen?" She replied sarcastically. Alistair winced realizing what he had just said.

"I'm sorry. This is just hard to ask. Um…I need some advice. What if I think a woman is special and I want to-," Leliana interrupted.

"You want to woo her? Here's a good tip. Don't question her about her 'female-ness'." Alistair exasperatedly ran his hand down his face.

"Yes, that's a very good point. Questioning a girl's femininity would not be the best way to go about it." He dolefully drew his hands through his hair making it stick up in all directions. "I'm hopeless, aren't I?" Leliana patted his shoulder.

"Sure you are a little awkward Alistair, but it adds to your charm. It is endearing. Just be you, and I'm sure things will progress naturally. Or you know, you could always just confess your feelings outright. Or do something terribly romantic like waking the sleeping beauty with a kiss and saying something like, _I'm sorry my lady._ _I just couldn't help myself, it's like we are tied by an imaginary thread and I lost myself in the pull of your gravity._" Leliana sighed and giggled to herself. Alistair gave her a lucid look.

"Would I say that before or after she stabbed me? I can understand now why you were a bard. You most definitely have a flair for storytelling." Alistair smiled sadly. "If only my feelings were that easy to convey. I guess I have to face facts that I'm not the type of man that can spew poetry and flattery with ease. Unlike Zevran, who seems to spout flattery like a leaky faucet." Leliana couldn't help but stifle a chucked at the look on Alistair's face.

"You aren't jealous of Zevran are you?"

Alistair shouted, "No!" Leliana shushed him and pointed to Aleria. He clasped his hands over his mouth and whispered, "No. I'm not jealous. It's just…what exactly does a woman see in a man like Zevran, besides his obvious talent for flattery?"

Leliana placed her delicate hands to her mouth as she pondered. "Well, he's handsome enough for some. As well as dangerous, fearless, and utterly suave. I can see how a girl would easily fall for his charms." Alistair's face fell with every word she said. "But Alistair, no amount of flattery can replace sincerity, _real_ love, and affection. You are the one whom I believe will excel in those qualities." Alistair opened his mouth to voice a reply when he heard a whimpering sound. He and Leliana turned to see where the noise was coming from and were surprised to see it was Aleria.

Aleria's breath began to hitch as her little whimpers intensified; Alistair and Leliana's hearts sank in unison. Alistair patted Leliana on the leg and swiftly came to Aleria's side. As he gently brushed her hair from her face he saw a stream of tears flowing over her cheeks. He couldn't help but think about what Leliana had said about _waking the sleeping beauty with a kiss_. He thought better of it and instead decided to attempt to sooth her. He began gently whispering into her ear. "Ali, it's going to be alright. You're safe. I will keep you safe, I swear it. Hush now..." He tenderly wiped a stray tear from her face. He half expected her wake up and stab him, but instead she leaned into his touch as a small sigh escaped her lips. If Alistair wasn't in love with her before that moment, he was completely and irrevocably in love with her now. He smiled to himself as he pulled his bedroll closer to her. Drifting off to sleep, her face was the last thing he saw.

Aleria sat in a pool of blood on the cobblestone steps of Highever castle, the bodies of her friends and family piled in a heap in the courtyard while Earl Howe's men drank and celebrated their victory. Aleria wept at the sight of her father's body at the top of the heap. Bryce Cousland was so vivacious and full of life, to see that light drained from his face was more than Aleria could stomach. She felt as if her insides were going to burst. Then she spotted him- Earl Howe. He stepped from behind the pile of corpses with a malevolent grin on his face, making his way towards her as he spoke, "If it isn't the little Cousland brat. How are you my dear? You don't look so good." Aleria was too full of rancor to speak. The Arl grabbed her arm and forcefully snatched her from the ground. "You came just in time for the grand finale my dear." He spun her around to face the court yard as a shadowy figure carrying a torch stepped into view. The light from the torch lit his crooked smile before he nonchalantly tossed the flame and ignited the whole mass. Aleria let out a blood curdling scream as she fought Howe with everything she had.

"_No!_ No…please. Let me go! _Let me go!_" She finally resigned herself to defeat and hung limply from his arms. "Why…Why Howe? Why us? You were his _friend, _his brother in arms!How could you do this to us? How could you do this to your son? Nathanial, he…and I…_You, _you arranged our betrothal yourself! He will kill you for this! I know he will. He…he loves me."

Rendon Howe snorted and shouted to the figure still standing in the shadows. "Did you hear that boy? You did a better job than I thought. Who knew you were such a heart breaker?" Aleria's head shot up. Her breath caught in her throat as the shadow man revealed himself. His long hair was so black it shone blue in the moonlight and his eyes, his eyes were what wounded her the most. Those same blue eyes that once held tenderness and voracious passion now looked empty and as harsh as the steel dagger he carried at his side.

"No. Nate," Aleria whispered as Howe allowed her to drop to her knees at the feet of Nathanial. "Why? How could you betray me? How could you kiss me with such tenderness knowing that this was my fate?" Her eyes brimmed with tears. Nathanial shook his head as he kneeled in front of her. He stroked her hair from her face and tilted her chin to meet his gaze.

"Aleria Cousland…" her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice. "I never loved you." He kissed her lips softly and dropped his hand from her trembling jaw. He backed away and joined his father at the in the smoldering courtyard of Highever castle. Aleria's body began to heave in large sobs as doubled over on herself. The world around her began to swirl with images of blood, bodies, and memories all tangled together. Everything was crumbling around her and she felt herself coming undone.

Then, she heard his voice.

"Ali, it's going to be alright," He spoke and the world stopped spinning.

"You're safe. I will keep you safe. I swear it." He appeared in front of her and dropped to his knees. "Hush now…" He tenderly wiped a stray tear from her face. She sighed and leaned into his touch. His battle worn hands left a trail of electricity on her skin. She took a deep breath and launched herself into Alistair's arms. As soon as her head hit his broad chest she was wrenched from the fade and back to reality.

Aleria awoke to find Alistair's face no more than a hands length away from hers. Was this why she had dreamt of him? She retreated quietly so as not to wake him and headed to relieve Zevran of his post. She took one more lingering look at Alistair before she grabbed her blanket and headed out into the cold.

The night air had a crisp bite to it but being beneath her blanket staved off most of the chilly air. She glanced around looking for the slightest bit of movement to alert her of Zevran's presence. She stepped out a bit further past the elongated roof of the cottage when she heard a sound. A rustle followed by a light _thud_ behind her. She smirked and quickly whirled her blanket around catching her target of guard. In one quick movement she hit the dirt and deftly swept her opponent's legs out from under him. She reached to pick up her blanket and tossed it over the assassin's head. "I've come to relieve you of your watch and it seems as if I have found you laying down on the job." She placed her hands on her hips and smiled down at him. "You know I think you let me knock you down. Either that or you are not as proficient as you claim you are."

"Alas, you have caught me. If fighting is the only way you will let me touch you then I will endure it. The view from here is not quiet bad either. I get to fully appreciate you from this angle. Starting from your shapely legs to the gentle curve of your hips, the graceful dip of your waist, then to the majestic swell of your…" Aleira kicked him in the side. "My lady, why must you be so cruel? I am only giving you the praise you deserve." She shook her head and reached out a hand to him.

"Save your praise for the Maker. Come on. You need some sleep. You're obviously delirious." Instead of pulling him up she found herself being pulled down, landing directly on top of him. "I should have known better. You are really pushing your luck Zevran." He only smiled widely.

"The greater the risk, the greater the reward," He replied suavely. Aleria grunted and unceremoniously rolled off of him. She stared up at the sky from the flat of her back. The stars sparkled like little diamonds; she had never seen the skies so clear. This was exactly what she needed to take her mind off of her dream. Her musing was interrupted by a sensual voice. "How did you sleep Warden? I trust you had pleasant dreams of fighting dragons and saving princes?" Aleria sighed. Of course he would ask of the thing she was trying to forget.

"If only. My dreams have been far more complicated as of late." Zevran perked and sat up to face the warden.

"Sounds interesting, do tell…" He asked with palpable interest.

Aleria cocked an eyebrow. "No, this isn't something so easy to talk about. Don't you need to get some sleep?" She tried to change the subject.

"I am not tired as of now. Maybe you should tell me a story to help me get to sleep, no?" He baited her.

"No," Aleria said pointedly.

"How about I offer you something in return, hm? I will answer anything you ask of me so that I may hear of your dream. Does that sound fair?" Aleria tilted her head as she considered. There was one thing that she wondered about. In the ruins, before they were allowed to enter the trials of the Gauntlet, they were all asked questions. Zervan's question was about his last mission. She recalled what the spirit had said.

"_And the Antivan Elf," the spirit whispered. _

_ "Oh? It is my turn now? Hurrah. I'm so excited." Zevran quipped sarcastically. The spirit continued._

_ "Many have died at your hands, but are there any you regret more than a woman named..." Zevran interrupted hastily._

_ "How do you know about that?" His eyes widened in shock._

_ "I know much. It is allowed to me. But the question still stands however. Do you regret…" Zevran interrupted yet again._

_ "Yes, the answer is yes; if that is what you wish to know. I do. Now move on." _

Aleria had never seen Zevran's demeanor change so quickly. She knew exactly what to ask him. "Alright Zev, I do have a question for you." He nodded, indicating she should continue. "In the ruins, the spirit asked you about a woman. Someone you regretted killing. Who was she?" Zevran's amiable countenance dropped. He stood and began to walk away.

"Maybe it is time for me to retire. Good night, Aleria." He tried to walk inside but Aleria grabbed his wrist. His head snapped towards her. She recognized that look. "I do not wish to talk about this. You are released from our deal." He pushed her hand off his wrist and continued to walk inside. Aleria slid in front of him and blocked his way.

"What if I tell you my dream first? As a declaration of trust." This perked Zevran's interest.

"You would trust an _assassin? _Are you in your right mind?" He crossed his arms over his chest.

Aleria mocked his movements as she spoke. "I do not trust just any _assassin_. I trust _you. _Come, I will probably need to sit down for this."

Zevran nodded towards the roof. "May I suggest up there? It is a great vantage point as well as a lovely view."

Aleria shrugged, "I'll follow you." Once on the roof Aleria brought her knees up to her chest and tucked her blanket tightly around her form. "Ok, so here it goes. I was back home at Highever Castle the night my family was murdered. Howe had all their bodies piled in the courtyard; He made me watch as they set my families bodies a blaze." Zevran's brown crinkled in unease.

"Aleria, I…" He began but she held up her hand.

"That's not all. The man who set the pile alight was Nathanial Howe. Son of Redon Howe and… my betrothed." Her eyes became glassy at the remembrance of 'dream Nathanial's' words. _Aleria Cousland….I never loved you._

"You were _engaged? _You are a noble, are you not? Was this an arranged marriage for political gain or a marriage given out of affection?" Zevran asked delicately.

Aleria shrugged, "I suppose it was both. I had been infatuated with Nathanial since we were children. He was close with my brother Fergus and I would relentlessly follow them around like a lost Mabari pup, much to my older brother's displeasure. When we were older, we trained together whenever he and his family visited. He's actually the one who taught me how to shoot a bow properly." She smiled wistfully at the memory, "I remember his hands resting upon mine as he showed me the proper way to notch an arrow. His face was just a breath away from mine; when he noticed my body trembling he whispered, '_Am I making you nervous?'_ I steadied myself and gave him a curt "No." He chuckled. '_What if I said I want to marry you, would that make you nervous_?' The arrow released from my hands and nearly killed one of our gardeners. I shoved him off of me and proceeded to yell obscenities at him. I began saying how horrible it was to joke like that but he just smiled and said, '_Who said I was joking_?' Then he pulled me into an earth shattering kiss." She laughed half heartedly. "Sounds a like a fairy tale doesn't it?"

Zevran shook his head. "What happened in the end?"

Aleria sighed. "Not too long after our engagement was announced Earl Howe decided to send Nathanial to serve in the Free Marches, something about paying off a debt to another Earl or becoming a real man, some such nonsense. Nathanial told me he would return for me…but I received one, maybe two correspondences in two years. I just figured he had forgotten about me or moved on. Now...I don't know… maybe there was much more to it than that."

"Do you really think he betrayed you?" He felt his heart sink. He knew how it felt to be betrayed and to betray the one he loved. He felt a deep sympathy for her.

"Who knows? I may never get to chance to ask. Maybe I will ask Howe, before I shove my dagger through the place where his heart should be," she whispered darkly.

They sat in silence a few more moments before Zevran sighed. "My story rings of similar themes. Love, betrayal, and heartbreak." Aleria inclined her head.

"Go on..." she encouraged him.

"The last mission of which the spirit spoke did not end well. Until that day I was cocky and arrogant. I was the best crow in Antiva, or so I believed. I bragged of my conquests often-both as an assassin and as a lover."

Aleria smirked and raised an eyebrow. "_Was_ cocky and arrogant?" Zevran chuckled and continued.

"I was often told I was insufferable…right before I ended up in bed with someone. Such is how it was. One of the Crow Masters grew so tired of my boasting; my bid for an incredibly difficult mark was accepted, much to my surprise. My comrade, Taliesen, decided to join my team as well as an elven lass named Rinna. She was a marvel. Tough, Smooth, Wicked. With eyes that gleamed like justice. Everything I thought I desired."

Aleria spoke quietly. "You fell in love with her." Zevran nodded.

"Rinna was special. I had closed off my heart, I thought, but she touched something within me. It frightened me. When Taliesen revealed to me that Rinna had accepted a bribe from the merchant, told him our plan, I readily agreed that she need to pay the price. So I allowed Taliesen to kill her. Rinna begged me not to, on her knees, with tears in her eyes. She told me that she loved me and had not betrayed us. I laughed in her face and said even if it was true I didn't care. I allowed Taliesen to slit her throat and watched her bleed as she stared up at me. Then I spat on her for betraying the Crows. When Taliesen and I finally assassinated the merchant we found the true source of the information. Rinna had not betrayed us after all."

Aleria gasped as a heart sank. "Oh, Zevran..."

"You once asked me why I wanted to leave the Crows; in truth, I wanted to die. What better way than to throw myself at the fabled Grey Wardens. And as luck would have it, you didn't kill me. So, here I am." He smirked at her.

"Do you still want to die?" She asked timidly, afraid of the answer.

Zevran shook his head. "No, what I want is to begin again. Whatever it is I sought by leaving Antiva, I think I have found it. I owe you a great deal."

Aleria returned his smile, "I am glad to have you with me." After a moment of comfortable silence Zevran stood up.

"That brings me joy, but now that our wager is fulfilled I think I will retire for the night, Good-night my dear warden." He dusted of his trousers and turned to leave.

"Sleep well, Zevran-and thank you… for trusting me," she said with sincerity.

"You warrant far more than that Mi Hermosa," he said as he disappeared from the roof.

Alistair's eyes sleepily tried to focus on his surroundings. Part of him was hoping to wake up to the sight of Aleria's face next to his, but he remembered that she had volunteered for second watch last night. He yawned and stretched his achy muscles before packing his bedroll. He grabbed some jerky from his pack and headed outside to see Aleria, realizing quickly that she was nowhere to be seen. "Ali!" He shouted. He nearly jumped out of his skin when she popped her head over the edge of the roof.

"Good Morning, Alistair!" She said with her head hanging upside down. Alistair chuckled.

"What in the name of Andraste are you doing up there?" He grinned.

"It is a good vantage point as well as a great view," she quoted Zevran. Alistair shook his head.

"Well come down from there before you break your neck, we are almost ready to depart for Redcliff." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked up at her.

"Yes, Sir!" She saluted him sarcastically. Unbeknownst to her the roof had iced over on the edges during the night. As she attempted to stand her foot slid out from under her and she tumbled off the side of the roof. Alistair's reflexes were not as quick as he hoped and instead of catching her he more or less broke her fall. She had fallen directly on top of him "Ow. Good catch, kind of...I don't think I have any broken bones, how about you?" She grimaced only inches away from his face.

"Well, I am having trouble breathing…" Alistair huffed.

"Maker's breath, seriously, did I break your ribs?" She fretted.

Alistair choked out a laugh, "No, it's just; you are still on top of me."

Aleria's face flushed.

"You have a bad habit of falling off of things," he quipped.

"Thankfully, you have a good habit of catching me." She smiled and it was Alistair's turn to blush. Before she could roll off she heard a couple of chuckles and cat calls from behind her. Zevran was of course the first one to comment.

"My, my Alistair, you really had me fooled with that Chantry boy act. Bravo my friend," he smirked.

"And in broad daylight too," Leliana goaded.

Sten crossed his arms over his chest. "This is not acceptable behavior." Morrigan only rolled her eyes. Alistair quickly shoved Aleria off of him.

"It's wasn't what you thought it was. She fell and I…" he tried to explain.

"Are we ready to go?" She changed the subject.

Leliana answered. "Packed and ready for our next adventure, I just hope we are not too late to help the Arl. I have prayed to the Maker for a swift and eventless journey back." She touched the leather pack hanging from her neck.

Alistair smiled. "How could we fail with the Maker on our side and Andraste around your neck?" He smirked, "Thank you Leli."

Leliana smiled broadly in response. She decided to keep to herself the prayer she spoke for Alistair and Aleria. She deeply hoped that the two of them would find a happy ending after all of this was over. They deserved happiness, they deserved each other.


End file.
